A prayer taken from The Divine Hours

O Lord, you have taught us that without love whatever we do is worth nothing: Send your Holy Spirit and pour into my heart your greatest gift, which is love, the true bond of peace and of all virtue, without which whoever lives is accounted dead before you. Grant this for the sake of your only Son Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.

I Miss My Dad

The funniest thing happened to me the other day. I was in a room where sound equipment was being used and a strange beeping sound was coming from one of the speakers. At first the sound was really annoying, but then (as bizarre as this sounds) it reminded me of something. The sound was identical to the sound in my dad's hospital room before he died. It was very weird. I thought how could something seemingly unimportant and very annoying remind me of my dad. It was hard to hold back tears, but I thought the people around might not get that a beeping sound was making me cry. I really miss my dad.

My dad liked to make me laugh. I would laugh so hard I'd fall onto the floor. I miss my dad. He'd always introduce me as, " Have you met my pretty little girl." I miss my dad. We had heated discussions. Everything from faith to politics. I miss my dad. He loved his country. I miss my dad. I haven't called my mother in three weeks because I have to face he's gone. I miss my dad. He always bought me a watch for Christmas whether I needed it or not. Maybe he was trying to tell me something. I miss my dad. He told me many times how much my grandfather would have loved me. I miss my dad. The way he loved my mother. He loved her with all of his being. I miss my dad. Watching him kneel to pray when I was a little girl. I miss my dad. He liked to call me honey. I miss my dad. He wanted to name me after his dog - Suzanne (he really loved that dog). I miss my dad. He liked to tell me, "you came along at the right time." I miss my dad. When I was a kid he loved to take me to Kmart to get my picture taken, dirty face and all. I miss my dad. He trusted me with all of his being. I miss my dad.

My Journey

I made it through the second day of Lent. That statement sounds so pathetic, but this morning I woke up and thought oh crap I've got to do it again. About 15 minutes or so later things were pretty good. There was such freedom in what I had begun. The idea of Lent had been a little overwhelming, but when I found myself in the midst of my struggles there was something very profound that happened, His strength was transforming. Normally, I’m so consumed with life that my eyes are not fixed on Christ.

My practicing Lent helps me reorient myself to God.

I find myself calling out to him again and again Lord Jesus Christ Son of the Living God have mercy on me a sinner.

I came across this prayer in The Divine Hours written by Phyllis Tickle. Considering the season it was fitting.

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in me a new and contrite heart, that I, worthily lamenting my sins and acknowledging my wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever.