It's Been Pouring

To take a line from Nickle Creek "It's pouring on this side and I'm nothing but scared" could pretty much sum up my feelings and situation from the last two months or so. I have felt and still feel like man this is much.

I love this song and as I listened to it I thought of Psalm 139:

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I'm an open book to you; even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I'm never out of your sight. You know everything I'm going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me an you're there, too- your reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful- I can't take it all in!

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute- you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you....

I know that God is watching. He knows and feels my pain. I love the end of the Nickel Creek song "It's pouring on this side but it feels like I'm home again There's no place to hide, but I don't think I'm scared." There are those days that I want to hide away from it all, but I know that He's there and there is no reason for hiding. God has His hand of mercy on my life and I'm encouraged by that truth.

Thy Mercy - Sandra McCracken

THY MERCY, MY GOD
Thy mercy, my God, is the theme of my song,
the joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone from the first to the last
hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.
Without thy sweet mercy I could not live here--
my sin would reduce me to utter despair;
but through thy free goodness, my spirit�s revived,
and he that first made me still keeps me alive.
Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by thy goodness, I fall to the ground,
and weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.
Great Father of mercies, thy goodness I own,
and the covenant love of thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit whose whisper divine
seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine!
Hallelujah�
Hallelujah
~ written by John Stocker in 1776

By my brother for my Dad

A eulogy for my dad

The month of September ended with my Dad having entered the hospital with a nagging back problem in the wake of being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease two months earlier. By the end of October, Floyd E. Smith had entered Glory, shocking my family with his sudden departure from this side of eternity. Needless to say, October was a blur.

What follows is the eulogy I gave at my father’s memorial service Nov. 3 at First Baptist Church in Leesburg. That church staff is among many to whom I owe a debt of gratitude I can never repay for kindnesses shown to my family during this time. The Florida Baptist Witness staff and board of directors – who allowed me to miss our semi-annual meeting so I could stay with my Dad (and Mom, who was also briefly hospitalized early in this saga) – are also worthy of tremendous thanks. My church family at GracePointe Baptist Church in St. Augustine showed great love and support to me. Scores of other friends, colleagues – including many friends in the Florida Baptist family – held me up during the challenging, exhausting and troubling days of October that caused me to be in Leesburg helping my parents all but five days during the month.

More than anyone else, my wife, Linda, and my children, Lauren and Andrew, are the reason – humanly speaking – I was able to endure this incredibly difficult time. Linda is the epitome of the godly woman described in Proverbs 31, and my children loved me from afar while I was away caring for their grandparents. I love Linda, Lauren and Andrew beyond words.

It’s my prayer that publishing this eulogy will help readers appreciate the life of my wonderful father but, even more, the way a life is made purposeful by Jesus Christ, my father’s Lord and Savior.

The word “eulogy,” as most everyone knows, means good word. As it is my honor to give the eulogy for my Dad, there are many good words for Floyd Eugene Smith. There are many more good words for my Dad than our time together this morning will permit. But the one word I would like to focus upon in these few brief moments is love – Dad’s love for his family, his country and his God.

--Love of family. Dad loved Mom. He loved her faithfully for the 52 years they were married. He loved her in his dying days. In his final month on this earth, most of the time his mind was in varying levels of confusion brought about by medications and illnesses. There were times he did not recognize people he knew, like neighbors, friends from church, his siblings, and even his own children – sometimes confusing one of us for another. But there was never a time he did not recognize the love of his life. Dad loved Mom. When she arrived he knew her, and he loved her. Dad loved his family – all of us kids, our spouses and his grandchildren. Neighbors and others have told me of how Dad would talk about his kids and grandkids with such pride and love. On his last night alive, Mom and I believe Dad knew he was dying – and in the midst of that time, when he could barely talk, there were two episodes in which he made it clear how much he loved his family, and especially Mom, as he pointed at Mom and then pointed at me telling me to take care of her, we believe. Dad loved his family.

--Love of country. Dad loved his country and proudly served his country in the U.S. Navy. I’m certain it was his patriotism that caused my own, as well as my interest in current events. I loved how he would tell people as a child how much I was interested in what was going on in the world and how when he came home from work we would watch the news together and I asked him to explain what was going on. When Jimmy Carter ran for president, Dad loved that a Southern Baptist was a candidate and he voted for him. So, I “voted” for Carter as an 11-year old. When Carter turned out to be a liberal, Dad changed his mind about him – and so did I – and I’ve been a conservative ever since! Dad loved his country, even though he knew his country was far from perfect – but he loved his country enough to care about helping to make it a little closer to being perfect as he encouraged me and others to be good citizens. During his hospitalizations in the last month as his mind was confused, there were times when he thought he was back in the military – even once mistaking me for a colonel (which I couldn’t understand since dad was a Navy man!). Dad loved his country.

--Love of God. As much as he loved his family and country, even more so, Dad loved his God. He loved Jesus. As a teenager, Dad thought he was called to ministry, but he instead dropped out of high school and joined the Navy, like Jonah fleeing the call on his life for a life on the seas. Unlike Jonah, when Dad came to his senses and surrendered to the call of ministry at age 42, Dad rejoiced at the work of God in people’s lives, especially those who accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord. Dad pastored four “small” churches during his time in ministry – places that wouldn’t become renown on this side of eternity, but places where people needed the Lord, and a shepherd who would show them the way. His concern for the lost is clear from a typewritten note taped into the front of his Bible, “What’s 750,000 miles long, reaches around the earth 30 times and grows 20 miles longer each day? Answer: The line of people who are without Christ.”

Like every pastor I know, Dad was frustrated at times by some people who seemed to believe it was their calling in life to make life miserable for the pastor! Still, he loved being a pastor and cherished the calling of God on his life that allowed him the privilege of preaching the “unsearchable riches of Christ,” a favorite statement of his. He officiated at unknown numbers of marriages – including mine and several others of us kids – and funerals. He helped other men follow God’s call into Gospel ministry. I was reminded the other day as I looked through some of Dad’s affairs that as a 15-year old I was among those who signed his Gospel ministry ordination certificate. And he signed mine.

During his final month, Dad’s confused mind would sometimes go back to church life – asking me regularly when we were leaving for church, who was leading the singing and who was preaching. One day in the hospital, he conducted a church business meeting with my sister Kim, mom and me. On several Saturday nights in the last month, I told him I would come back in the morning and while Mom went to church he and I would have church in his room. “Do you want to preach, or should I?” I asked him. He answered once that I should preach so he could take a nap.

One night his primary doctor came to see him. Dad sometimes confused Dr. Pellegrino for First Baptist Leesburg pastor Cliff Lea, I think because they are both tall, but also because of Dr. Pellegrino’s pastoral approach to medicine. As Dr. Pellegrino was about to leave, Dad suddenly reached up to Mom on one side and me on the other side, and said, “Let’s pray.” We all joined hands and in the midst of his confused mind, the love of Jesus came pouring out in a prayer that was as clear and cogent as any he ever prayed. When it was over – after about five minutes – Dr. Pellegrino told me, “The man still knows how to pray!”

During the last four weeks when there were times I was trying to help Dad get focused on what the doctors, nurses or therapists were asking him to do or I was trying to help his confusion lessen, I would ask him, “What’s your favorite hymn?” With one exception, he immediately answered, “My Jesus, I Love Thee.” And then he would sing it for me, virtually flawlessly. Dad loved music – he and Mom led a lay music ministry, the King’s Musicians, for several years before he finally surrendered to full-time ministry. But Dad’s love of music was because it helped him express his love of Jesus. The hymns we sing today are the ones he asked to be sung for this service.

It may be hard to accept or even to believe, but I’m convinced that it was God’s mercy at work in the way Dad died. When you consider what could have happened with the terrible disease of Alzheimer's, the fact that God took him so quickly was a blessing. The Apostle Paul reminds us, “We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord” (2 Cor. 5:8).

Dad loved his family, loved his country and loved his God. The love of his family continues. His earthly citizenship and patriotism has ended. On Oct. 30 at about 3:30 a.m., Dad renounced his citizenship from this world. While he was on earth, Dad held a dual citizenship – citizen of the nation of his birth and citizen of God’s eternal Kingdom. In this country, we have the Declaration of Independence, expressing our political freedom from the tyranny of another nation; in God’s Kingdom, we have a Declaration of Dependence, expressing our reliance on Jesus Christ for spiritual freedom from the oppression of sin. Today, Dad is no longer a dual citizen, for his citizenship is now exclusively in the domain of Heaven where the King of kings and Lord of lords reigns and where Dad is forever giving glory to his Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. By God’s grace, I will join him there one day. I invite you to join Dad and me.